


It Isn't You, Sam Winchester

by wibblywobblymess



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Gen, I just can't remember which one, based on an episode of Season 10, something where Sam thinks "maybe it's me"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 13:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4878775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wibblywobblymess/pseuds/wibblywobblymess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So after Sam’s “maybe it’s me” thing, I felt bad for the poor baby…and I saw a couple posts about making him feel better which inspired this…only this kind of got away from me, so I’m totally apologizing now for any rambling this might have. >.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Isn't You, Sam Winchester

                Sam sighed, glanced at the floor, and pushed himself off the bed. Dean lifted his eyes, and watched his younger brother walk out of the motel, yanking the door shut behind him. From the table, her bag in her hands, stood Eli, brow furrowed, peering between the brother left behind, and the door.

 

                Eli had been with the Winchesters, hunting and fighting for people over monsters, demons, angels, for years. For so much longer than she had lived a normal life – school, family, “down time”. Hell, she loved it more than anything, being with those boys. They were her family now, they were all she had. The brothers, Kevin, Charlie, even Cas – who she missed, and wished he hadn’t been sent away.

                But unlike every single other person, Eli knew. Eli had not been aware, had not been around, when Ezekial took over Sam’s body, but damn it, she  _knew_  there was something different. As much as she loved Dean, he was more her best friend. Sam was…Sam was something different. He’d always been something different, and the first time she ever told him, he brushed it off, scoffed, and likened it to the  _demon blood_. Even after all this time, he couldn’t scrub that one away, and she didn’t know how to make him see past it.

                This was different.

                He wasn’t the boy with the demon blood.

                He was the boy housing an angel, and being completely unaware. But that’s how Eli knew. She knew Sam, and she knew Dean, and when she suspected, she started hiding, sneaking around,  _watching_ , until she caught sight, and finally dragged Dean into solitude and got him to admit to whatever it was that was different.

                And here they were, again, with Sam putting himself down, and Dean’s attempt to make it right being shot off.

“ _Sometimes I feel like maybe I’ll never be alright…”_

                The girl stood for a minute, looking between Dean and the door, before tossing her bag down, and shaking her head.

“Eli?” Dean asked, looking over at her.

“Finish packing,” she ordered, walking around him and out the door. “Sam!”

                The taller Winchester was leaned against the trunk of the Impala, head down, hands shoved into his pockets. His sleeves were rucked up, and his face was hidden behind his hair as he scuffed his foot into the concrete. Damn it, he looked  _adorable_ , and painfully so, and Eli shuffled, shoving her hair back as she moved up to the side of the car beside him.

“Sam?” Her voice was soft, so as not to startle him, but she didn’t look up as he cocked his head to see her feet beside his.

“I’m just getting air.”

“It isn’t you, you know.” He frowned.

“Whaddaya mean?”

“That stuff, inside…it isn’t you. I can’t tell you, I don’t know, but it isn’t  _you_.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“Eli…”

                Pushing off the Impala, Eli planted her hands on his hips, and pushed him against the car, frowning.

“Sam, you have to listen to me. You are going to be fine. It won’t be today, it might be tomorrow, but things… _you_ …will be fine. Those trials? They could have  _killed_  you, Sam, and people don’t just bounce back. It takes time. A lot of time. You have to be patient.”

“Eli, I appreciate this, but I’m not.”

“Yes you are. I know it’s stupid to say this, all things considered, but  _I have faith_  that you are going to be fine.” She spoke with conviction, staring Sam in the eye, but hoping somewhere, Zeke was catching it, too.

“Why? Why do you have faith in me, in any way?” Sam’s voice was soft, timid, and it broke her heart, as she leaned in a little more.

“Because you are different…not in the  _boy with the demon blood_  way, Sam, because that’s gone, that’s over, that’s a far and away memory any more, and you know it. No…you’ve always been different, in that…you know I adore Dean, he’s my friend, you guys are my family, but Sam…”

                She sighed, and felt her face fall a little as she thumped her head against his chest. He laughed softly out of surprise, before putting his hands on her back, frowning as she stiffened beneath his fingers.

“El?”

“I love you, Sam Winchester. And I don’t care about the consequences, I don’t care that it’s not smart, and I don’t care about anything else. I care about you, and I love you, and I always have, and nothing you do will ever change that. You are so smart, and so caring, and you give everything you got every time. You always know how to make me feel better, you make me feel  _safe_ …but you don’t baby me. And I  _love_  you, Sam…and it breaks my heart that you think there’s something permanently, horribly wrong with you, because there  _isn’t_ , it isn’t _you…_ and I don’t know how to convince you.”

                For a moment, neither said anything, as her head rested on his chest, until his fingers brushed her chin, to tilt her head up. Eli held her eyes shut until he stopped pulling, and even then, barely opened them when his lips pressed against hers.

“You’re right,” he murmured, gently pulling away. “It isn’t smart to fall for me.”

“I don’t care. I already have, and nothing you say or do will make that go away.” Despite the breathiness of Eli’s voice, Sam could hear the certainty, and he sighed, nodding.

“Then I love you too, El,” he breathed, kissing her again.

 


End file.
